Confussion At Its Finest

Dear Archie

2009-05-14T21:39:00.000-07:00

Dear David A.,

Welcome to the Philippines! You've probably heard that a lot by now but, it still feels great to say. I'm really happy I was able to call you earlier. Sadly, they asked my question before I got to ask it : so I had to think of another one. haha. Anyway, I hope I didn't sound completely idiotic. I was really nervous (obviously), we all were. It seemed even Mojo was! I enjoyed hearing you and David Cook earlier. The stories they shared about you just made me like you even more. I laughed when I heard you do the thing when you hear a word that's connected to a song, you start singing it (I do that a lot too). One time, I was at school and our teacher said something and I started laughing and singing the lyrics after she said that. So everyone laughed at me but they knew it was something about me that could never be changed. Of course, I'm not as good as you ;)

I'm really excited about tomorrow, obviously, the rest of the Philippines is. I can't wait to hear you sing Angels. It's my favorite song. I love how you seem to be so cool about what's happening around you and It's great that you seem to be a normal teenager. I mean, if teenagers achieved everything you have at your age, then chyea! that's pretty normal. Lol.

Btw, getting a twitter was a great idea. Not only can all of us stalk you through your tweets (haha!) but we sort of know your thoughts so it's as if you were telling them to us personally. You gotta convince David Cook to get one too. Tell him it's not just telling the world "I just ate a burger" "I just had a bath" it's more on sharing your thoughts :) tell him to try it out for a bit and after a while, he'll get addicted (like the rest of the world).

Thank you for being that person who brings inspiration to everyone. And as Grace Lee said being "Contagious" as well. I was smiling throughout the whole interview and throughout lunch and as I type this letter.

I look forward to Saturday and the rest of your career. We all know great things will come from you (They already have, but we know that someone with your talents can go further). No pressure though. We'll be backing you up 100% and if you fall, we'll be there to pick you up and dust you off.

I really hope you get to read this. It's a pretty spontaneous letter (I seem to do that a lot) so ignore any mistakes I've made in writing it.

As a closer, I hope you enjoy yourselves on the stage tomorrow. I wish I could've met you (and if I do, I'll let you know it's me), but knowing that you've been busy, I won't force it. I'll take what I'm given and enjoy it with a great big smile on my face. I hope you guys enjoy the craziness of the crowd tomorrow and I hope we live up to your expectations. I wish you all the best and keep on doin' what you do ('cause that's what we love about you) Enjoy the rest of your stay and take care.

With love from Manila,
Gabrielle (Gaby :P) Novenario

Take my hand, off to never never land.

2009-04-02T10:45:00.000-07:00

What I love about drawing is there's always this imaginative feel to it, no matter how proper the sketch you're doing is. Sometimes I wish I could just let go. Clasp my hands tightly inside the boy in green tights' hand and let him take me to a world or magic and Disney. Of course, I don't open my window and see one star in the sky.

I can only remember one painting I did where I went nuts. It felt awesome, yet, staring at the outcome, people would think I was strange. The first thing my mom asked me was "do you somehow feel alone?". I hadn't realized I had made a black shadow drowning in vast colors of darkness and despair. Wow. I made up a story for that and pretended I copied it off a book and kept the painting in my "portfolio".

Chibi is where I can be myself. It sounds idiotic but smushed up versions of people with no mouths is one of the easiest self-explanatory crap things I've done. Ever. And besides, when a boy in green tights can't take you to a land of delicious imaginary food, there's always that chibi of yourself in the land of clouds low enough to sit on and play guitar on. Or the land of flying bass' and guitars.

I sound like a child.

But then again, weren't we all at some point?

Some of us just don't grow out of it.

-G

I've Been Counting

2009-01-30T02:46:00.000-08:00

...And it's thirteen days until the concert.

Man, it seem like just yesterday when I first stepped into the crowd of my first rock concert. I remember having that stupid shirt and the faded jeans and ratty-looking converse. I remember setting foot on the floor and thinking, 'Shit! Chicosci's still on!'. When Fall out boy stepped out, I remember hearing the crowd's cheering and that very familiar adrenaline rush (you can goodle it) each time the first chords are played. It's like this frenzy goes off in my head(like my own personal brand of heroin).

Being my first concert, it would've been normal if I had covered my ears for a minute or two considering the intensity of the volume; but I didn't. It was strange though, the way I felt so at home in the middle of the floor with equally eager kids next to me as they screamed the lyrics.

Each time I go to a concert, I look for that rush, that special bolt of happiness that only being in a concert can give me. It's strange but if you think about it, I was born to rock. My mother taught me classic rock at an early age, I guess you can say the rest is history.

Thinking back to "The 'ol days" it makes me even more excited to go and see the FOB concert on the 13th of Febuary (Thanks to Tigger!!)I'm really looking forward to see how they'll perform the new album to a bunch of kids who may not know what they're talking about. Not looking forward to sideburns-less patrick-o and really excited to see extreamly large 'fro boy joe. Off course, aside from that, I still can't wait to see the boys back on stage before me doing what they do best.

Change is on Everyone's Mind Tonight.

2009-01-20T06:42:00.000-08:00

At exactly 2 hours from now, we’ll be witnessing history unfold before our very eyes. President Elect Barack Obama will be named the first African American president of the United States of America and the most powerful man on the face of the earth.

I may not be American but I know what the whole world is facing at the moment, or, I may know half of it; but I know that this man is merely a human being like the rest of us. I’m afraid to say this but there will be controversies and there will be disappointments but we will still keep our feet firmly on the ground in the hopes of a brighter tomorrow.

Tonight I’ll be staying up to watch the live telecast on CNN because I want to be part of this historical event. And since this is not only America’s future but the world’s as well, I ask, whether you are for or against Obama’s administration, that we pray for this man and pray for good decisions and CHANGE.

Tomorrow, I’m going to wake up proud knowing that I have a future in this world and it won’t be crumbling to its core by the time I have a chance to leave a my mark on it.

Let’s keep our faith and work together to build a brighter tomorrow.

2009-01-13T04:29:00.000-08:00

Adrenaline rush, you can google it.

It was weird, like I saw myself from a different perspective.
I saw what a fool I made myself when I watched him from a distance as he goofed around with his friends. I was idiotic to think he'd actually look my way and think twice about pretending i wasn't there. Then there he was, in front of me with this huge sign, that, if decoded spelled out 'stay out of my life'. Doesn't that suck? To know that one of the only people you feel for couldn't give a damn about you? Doesn't it feel worse that the more you try to forget them, the more you end up wishing that you'd never forget them? Because the disappearance of that thought, that presence of the person right there makes you wanna shrivle up and die.

Take a step back, as the room was filling up.

2009-01-09T08:56:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder how come as you sit in an empty room, you feel as though the walls were closing in on your and the oxygen was slowly disappearing? I think it's because sometimes, you just gotta open the door and let go of some stuff, in my case some people.

It took some time and a lot of encouragement but I finally got it, or, let go of it.

Strange how it feels in the end, like this ticking timebomb in your head was finally difussed and all you have is the shell.

I always wonder why it's so hard for me to understand it. But then, I realize that the thing that enchanted me was just the thought and not that itself.

I hope you understand what i'm getting to. I'm trying to say enough without saying too much.

Anyway, it's a new year, a better me who now names all her gadgets thank-you-very-much

I'm just real happy to say, i'm starting off the year without any tears and bad feelings. I hope it sticks 'cause it feels great.

I hope you all learn how to let go sooner or later.

trust me, it's not eaasy, it is painful but it is worth it. That's how bluntly i can say it.

I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and is preparing themselves for a long 12 months.

Does this mean it's war?

2008-12-07T09:12:00.000-08:00

As you see the enemy approaching, your grip on the riffle tightens as you feel your heart pound. You start to walk, taking slow, even steps until... Boom.

But that won't work 'cause were not in the wild west. What if you hadn't even met the enemy? Would you know them once you saw them? What if you ended up liking them? Could you blame them? How you know it's killing you yet you can't bring yourself to hate them.

'Cause that's the confussion of it all.

It's too painful to elaborate.

Reallity Bites....

2008-11-28T21:09:00.000-08:00

Watching theses movies I'm come to realize this sick and cold conclusion...

It isn't reality. There isn't a tall, pall, vampire boy to protect you and love you until the day you die. There isn't a boy who'd love you unconditionally; whatevet the consequences. These things are written by women for people like us, wanting to have that feeling of happiness in our hearts. People who have never felt the true meaning of love.

I don't wanna believe it but I know it's the cold, harsh truth of reality. Reality friggin' bites...

I'm farkin' not allowed to curse anymore :P let's see how long I can handle that!

I've got control.

I loved the movie though, enjoyed feeling giggly inside once edward and bella came close to each other. Yes, I am talking about Twilight... if you live in a box, you wouldn't know who they are.

Then, there's My Sassy girl. That could happen; a bit too many coinscidences though but... would it ever be that it is real life?? I don't know. Btw, my favorite scene was the lead dude went into the woman's university and spotted the lead girl playing the piano in the auditorium. He walked up the stage and handed her a single red rose. How romantic could you get? Too bad it isn't real life and it was a movie. Wouldn't it be amazing though? To feel what Bella and Edward feel??

Wouldn't everything be exciting and adventurous if those were our stories; our lives?

I'm too mellow-dramatic. Probably 'cause i had 3 hours of sleep last night.

pffttttt!!!!!!!

ttyl... if i don't collapse soon.
x's and o's
Gabbbizzzle fo shizzley nilly pow (?)
(gaby for short)

Questions...

2008-11-24T09:27:00.001-08:00

The other day, someone I was talking to asked me the weirdest question. She walked up to me and with an arm on her hip she said: "Why are you always so happy?"
I had to laugh at that and shrug; now that i think about it, the answer seems quite noticable:

It's because I've got nothing I should be sad about.

I used to be quite negative but I learned that won't get you anywhere or it won't get you anything except frown lines (which i happen to be too young for). I don't care to pick fights with people because I know it'll just be a waste of my time and I hate wasting my time arguing. I've got people I love surrounding me, the most awesome friends and a strange family that's got some good stuff in them (if you look deeper). There's no reason to me to dig into a pin hole and find something to cry about.

That's my answer. I hope she sees it 'cause I know she'll laugh.

In other news, today's my dad's birthday, he would've been 47 O:]
and also Trixie's birthday... she's turning undead in dog years= 16.

I've got no school tomorrow so I'm quite brave about the time I'm packing up and getting some shut-eye. Wednesday and Thursday back to school then Friday is trixie's party. Saturday is trixie's party number 2 and Sunday is dinner with the fam. A bit tied up.

I'll probably get my ass back ol tomorrow or something. i dunno. my mind's not working (if it hasn't been quite obvious) I think you know me enough to know I don't write this way. lol.

anyway, i'm falling asleep... so there!

santi everyone!!

Bright Lights and Crazy Sights

2008-11-24T07:44:00.000-08:00

I have no idea, don't ask. :P

I got my i-pod last sunday!! woot! a neon green 4th gen 4gb ipod nano :]

Trixie enjoyed hearing my torment over our hour long conversation the other day as I wanted to kill itunes for taking so long to download. Anyway, my mom finished it in her office and I installed it and voila! :] i wanna use william beckett as my back drop. anyone know how???

anyway, i'm enjoying this experiment :P

next on my what i want list: a lomo cam

It's like I Waited My Whole Life... For This One Night

2008-11-21T08:00:00.000-08:00

For a while I told myself I'd crash rihanna's concert if she ever decided to come...
Well she did, tagging along Chris B. with her.

Anyway, since I didn't really care enough to pay some big bucks for tickets and wasn't that hyped up, I settled for going with my aunt and cousin to get 'kicked out of prestige 'cause we were too cool' lol. Anyway, had a blast, saw the fireworks, danced, wished there had been a street party but there wasn't any, I saw a whole lot of celebrities I didn't care to see and most of all, saw Rihanna and Chris B :P

After the concert we went to by the gates and waited an hour for them to come out. I Rihanna looked real good, as always. Chris B. and her got into separate cars and stayed at separate hotels. Since they took so long, alie and I joked that they were making-out :))

Anyway, the concert was pretty rockin', complete with fireworks and the collaboration that made both of them.

Anyway, I'll probably put the pics up on my multiply: imarecipefordisaster.multiply.com or myspace. whatever floats my boat :P

sorry this is late. I'm bored and barely awake so there.

xoxo

I'm Still Awake.

2008-11-14T10:29:00.000-08:00

Today's probably one of the most exhausting days I've had so far. Mom and I got home at around 12 midnight and from then on, I went online and fixed up a layout for trixie's blog then checked on some of the million sites I have and finally felt my energy level come to a crashing halt as the flickering lights of the digital clock called out '2:30' to me.

Today was worth it though; I've been with mom on those train rides from gateway mall to recto and back a billion times before but today, I had the best fun. We went into this building where mom met someone and I waited in the stairs, anyway, everyone who passed would double-take when they saw me and one guy actually stared me right in the face then waited until I moved a bit before he confirmed that, I was a human; sadly. Recto's a crazy place at night but it was exciting, since I've never been to Divisoria, I think Recto's the craziest place I've been to. Well, aside from the Meet and Greets and the concerts.

I finally got my globe sim card and I'll update everyone on my number as soon as I get to it.
I also finally got a new backpack to my collection!
and I took 3 pictures good enough to use as 3 days of my photo assignment on buzznet. woot!
Talk about accomplishment, eh?

Anyway, I'm being summoned to bed by equally emptied out mother so I gotta go. TTYL

P.S. I got the new SS ish :D Loves it, as always!
Congratulations to the team!

xoxo
GG.

--no, not really. More like Gaby

I'm In A Pissy Mood; Hence, The Multiple Entries.

2008-11-13T06:00:00.000-08:00

Times like this call for some dance/techno/electronica/whatever else you call it. I just finished listening to Daft Punk-Digital phunk and i'm thanking my lucky stripes my cousin has a liking to that kind of music. I'm enjoying it atm and maybe a hint of 'of all the gin joints' by fall out boy and i'm a happy camper. yes? maybe? Probably not. A girl can dream, now can she? W/e.

Tonight, Billvy's mine 'cause mon has drake. woot!

So There's This Song Stuck In My Head...

2008-11-13T04:15:00.000-08:00

Jesus of Suburbia- Greenday
I'm the son of rage and love
The Jesus of Suburbia
From the bible of none of the above
On a steady diet of soda pop and Ritalin
No one ever died for my sins in hell
As far as I can tell
At least the ones I got away with

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

Get my television fix sitting on my crucifix
The living room or my private womb
While the moms and brads are away
To fall in love and fall in debt
To alcohol and cigarettes and Mary Jane
To keep me insane and doing someone else's cocaine

And there's nothing wrong with me
This is how I'm supposed to be
In a land of make believe
That don't believe in me

[Part 2: City Of The Damned]

At the center of the Earth
In the parking lot
Of the 7-11 where I was taught
The motto was just a lie
It says home is where your heart is
But what a shame
Cause everyone's heart
Doesn't beat the same
It's beating out of time

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to care

I read the graffiti
In the bathroom stall
Like the holy scriptures of a shopping mall
And so it seemed to confess
It didn't say much
But it only confirmed that
The center of the earth
Is the end of the world
And I could really care less

City of the dead
At the end of another lost highway
Signs misleading to nowhere
City of the damned
Lost children with dirty faces today
No one really seems to careeeeee

[Part 3: I don't care]

I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't
I don't care if you don't care
[x4]

I don't careeeeeeeeee

Everyone is so full of shit
Born and raised by hypocrites
Hearts recycled but never saved
From the cradle to the grave
We are the kids of war and peace
From Anaheim to the middle east
We are the stories and disciples
Of the Jesus of suburbia
Land of make believe
That don't believe in me
Land of make believe
And I don't believe
And I don't care!
I don't care! [x4]

[Part 4: Dearly beloved]

Dearly beloved are you listening?
I can't remember a word that you were saying
Are we demented or am I disturbed?
The space that's in between insane and insecure
Oh therapy, can you please fill the void?
Am I retarded or am I just overjoyed
Nobody's perfect and I stand accused
For lack of a better word, and that's my best excuse

[Part 5: Tales of another broken home]

To live and not to breathe
Is to die In tragedy
To run, to run away
To find what you believe
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
I lost my faith to this
This town that don't exist

So I run
I run away
To the light of masochist
And I leave behind
This hurricane of fucking lies
And I walked this line
A million and one fucking times
But not this time

I don't feel any shame
I won't apologize

When there ain't nowhere you can go
Running away from pain
When you've been victimized
Tales from another broken home

You're leaving...
You're leaving...
You're leaving...
Ah you're leaving home...

Billy Joe Armstrong is frickin' amazing! I mean, just look at the lyrics! This song is 9.03 minutes long.

anyway, i wanted the rest of the world hear it so... listen on :D

until the next post...
gaby

13 Going On A Hundred

2008-09-14T00:55:00.000-07:00

And with that comes new profile templates/layouts/whateverelses!
I've decided to do a sorta 360 and change everything. Make life more colorful... literally.

So this is when I'm supposed to go on and blah about how lucky I was to be thirteen and whatever and... I think I am... I should... I will!

It's been the best year of my life, I met awesome people and I saw bands I thought I'd never manage to see, hell, I even met most of them!

I've gotten a whole lot of opportunities and did things I thought I'd never be able to do. For once, I think I found who I really am. Is it to early to say that? I'm still growing.

It's sad to think that on tuesday, I'll be a whole different me, older, maybe wiser... I doubt it, and much more corkier.

September 17th won't be a whole other perfect day, it's gonna be the rest day of my field trip and maybe a day I'll share ala mode with my cat. Nothing special... see?

I'm guessin' this is gonna be my last blog as a thirteen year-old so... wish me luck!

I Got Nicked in The Ear With Martin Johnson's Guitar Pick.

2008-09-03T06:35:00.000-07:00

My mom's been feeling under the weather lately so I wasn't surprised that by the time the day for the show came, she had the flu. Anyway, I was about to cancel the plans Kat, Nicole and I made but then my mom said she could take me and all was fine.

I met Kat in Music One in front of the activity center when Bryan Donahue passes right in front of us. Mom recognized him... funny since I was the one who liked them! Haha. Nicole had VIP stub things so we got seats in row 5. We waited for a bit and, strangely... they were on time! They first played Hero/Heroine then Five Minutes to Midnight. After that it was a bit blurry, aside from Thunder, Dance Hall Drug and The Great Escape.

Sounds weird but I was play eye tag with Paul. haha. Everytime he looked in my direction I did the Constantine Maroulis stare before I flashed a smile. I must've looked like a total nutcase 'cause I was falling off the chair left and right and my hair was a mess and I was sweaty. But all was good.

As the title states, his pick did nick my ear. It sorta hurt 'cause the side was the one that hit the top of my ear and he flicks picks to the stage like a pro so it's all fast. Anyway, it passed my ear and went missing, for a couple of seconds before some crazy girls picked it up a few feet from my chair. Then Bryan threw his towel towards Kat and right when she was about to get it in her face or reach for it or whatever, this dude got it. They threw a bunch of stuff at the audience too like bottle caps, water, picks, bottles and their towel with actual sweat. They also did a mini cover of 'Bleeding Love' between their song :D

~It's a bit short because I didn't get any stubs for the MNG so this space is reserved for what could've been~

xoxo.

p.s. thanks to Nicole and Kat :D and mom for driving me even if she was sick :D
p.p.s. I have a crush on Paul :D

Boys like girls in a fewey.

2008-09-02T22:20:00.000-07:00

Yes, I am quite aware there isn't a word like 'FEWEY' and yes, I am aware I sound like my 4 year-old cousin, except I sound even more childish than her.

So anyway, I am going to the BLG mini concert thing-a-ma-jig later, unless my mom doesn't feel any better. She's a little under the weather. If she isn't, I don't wanna force her but that'll also mean missing the concert thing-a-ma-jig. ANy which way will be OKay with me.

In other news, I've got real bad body-pains and a sort-of stiff neck, probably 'cause of out 7-9 training the 2-5 training yesterday. Yes, our coach is a mas murderer who wants us to die 'cause of bad backs, painful muscles and a sunburn. I just can't see why we can train inside the gym; oh, wait, I think it's because he doesn't know how to schedule our training so we won't clash with the basketball boys/volleyball girls/ drum and lyre practice.

So, enough of my blabbing about sports and backpains... let me blab about the two books I just finished.

On Sunday Alie, Maxie, Mom, Lola and I went to Fully booked Serendra for some reading and shopping. Anyway, after pulling like 20 books out of the pile, I picked three books I liked: Cupcake by Rachel Cohn, Sweet Blood by Pete Hautman and Undone by Brooke Taylor. Mom got Cupcake and SB for me but Undone's gonna have to wait since it's a bit too expensive and It's still in hardcover. We got alie a book too uh... but I've got too many book titles to remember what book she got. ANyway, it's part of a series that I'll probably reading in a week or two.
Anyway, Cupcake was awesome, as expected from the great RC. Sadly, the series is... done, fin, finito. The ending wasn't expected, I mean, I'm glad it ended that way. For some reason, I expected CC and Shrimp aka Phil (spoiler for alie!) to get married under the sun and near the surf. They'd have kiddies running around Dee and Java's house as they made veggie burgers while CC made her perfect expresso using the La what-cha-ma-callit. Well, that's how I imagined it when I read about Shrimp/Phil/the love of Ceecee's life-'s drawing on the back of a flyer. You gotta read the book. Thank God it wasn't a rushed ending like HP (tsk, tsk, tsk. LUNA FOREVER).
As for Sweet Blood... I liked it. It was weird, no... VERY WEIRD. I loved the way she naratted though and sometimes she sounded like me. That's all I can say for SW, it's just plain weird and very cool. I now believe I could've been a vampire... at some point of my life.

that's a little review for both. I apologize for not making anything about SW clearer.
I read SW in a few hours and it took me a day to finish Cupcake so I'm still soaking in all the words and blah.

Haha. Phil. Haha.

HE'S WEARING IT!!

2008-09-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

backstage at the panic concert, zac told us that they'd throw away gifts the fans gave them. ANyway, i decided to give this gift straight to ryan (Even if zac said to give everything to him then he'd give it to the guys) I told him it was special to me and i'd like him to have it. I didn't think he'd wear it, i mean, I thought he'd keep it or something... but he did! he wore it! and now, i'm happy i gave it to him.

So He Turned 24...

2008-09-01T06:39:00.000-07:00

I've been having these strange William Beckett dreams.

For a few months now, it's been just a still image of William smiling holding up his hands to show bracelets like Ryan Ross' but since I watched the vegemite episode, It's been an image of William but Chizzy's voice saying 'Vegemite'

In other, non-related news, Ryan Ross has turned 24.
Happy Burpday to you.
Yeah, the burp was caused by something other than delicious Ryan Ross birthday cake. thank-you-very-much.
Weren't you suppposed to send it to me in the mail? huh? huh? what happened to all the moments we shared together?? have you forgotten about your friend all the way back here who needs a bite of birthday cake from the Ross?? huh? huh?

In better Ryan Ross news, I think I saw a pic of him wearing the bracelet I gave him.
GAH.

In other news, Joey's hiding under the buffet table as mom's bending to try and get him out and put him in bed. So far, she hasn't succeeded. There's a lot of crashing involved and... okay, now she's got him. She's saying 'you ace hole terd' as she carefully strokes him while she takes him downstairs to his kitty bed

Oh, and happy birthday Joe, yes, he also hasn't sent me a cake in the mail. Then again, we didn't have the long 10-second converstaion Ryan and I had so he's forgiven. LOL.

William Beckett. This is by him.

2008-08-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

…Caleb pulls the lighter out of his back pocket, leaning against the chipped white rail on his mother’s front porch, hair cutting contrast compared to his nearly clear pale skin, and lights his cigarette.

The grass is dewy, and from his angle, the sun only accentuates the otherwise subtle sparkle. He takes one last drag deep into his lungs, and carelessly, with a quick flick from his thumb and forefinger, sends the butt sailing into the center of the perfectly kept front lawn.

“Where the hell is Crystal?” he wonders, impatiently waiting for the four-door Ford to come flying around the corner.

“One more day of high school hell,” he thinks to himself, contemplating another cigarette.

In the distance, almost as if piggybacked by the late spring wind, the faint, low droning sound of double time drums blares from an average at best car stereo, sweeping over the street as it’s vessel turns the corner. Finally. 20 minutes late.

As usual, she refuses to pull into the driveway. "I refuse to drive backwards,” she always says.

Caleb starts towards the car, skipping all three porch steps as Crystal lays on the horn, beeping out the bpm’s to whatever song she’s obsessing over today.

Crystal barely acknowledges her jettisoned friend, as her off-key, singled out sing-along she feels so empowered to carry on with, continues.

“I can’t believe you actually enjoy listening to this shit,” he says as he sticks one foot up onto the dashboard.

She playfully gives him the finger and smashes the off button on the dial.

“Good morning sunshine. Where the hell did you go last night? Why didn’t you answer your phone? I was worried about you, jerk.” Caleb swallows hard, and accepts the fact that he’ll never be able to tell her where he went last night. Never be able to tell her what his parents have done. So he paints a smirk where his woe should be, and turns the music back on…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man loves to torture us. Cliff-hangier!!

Livin' nirvana

2008-08-29T07:06:00.000-07:00

The band

-The man who sold the world-

We passed upon the stairs

We spoke of was and whens

Although I wasnt there

He said I was his friend

Which came as a surpriseI spoke into his eyes -- I thought you died alone

A long long time ago

Oh no, not me

We never lost control

Youre face to face

With the man who sold the world

I laughed and shook his hand

I made my way back home

I searched for form and land

Years and years I roamed

I gazed a gazely stare

We walked a million hills -- I must have died alone

A long long time ago.

Who knows

not me

I never lost control

Youre face, to face

With the man who sold the world.

Years after his passing Kurt Cobain still isn't just a memory in everyone's lives. For me, he's one of the most influential people in music.

Rest In Peace Kurt, the man who sold the world.

Perez is funn-ey! Sorry it had to be you wentz

2008-08-25T00:38:00.000-07:00

He's never been known to have the best hair in HOllywood, but this one is especially bad!
Pete Wentz attended the launch party for the new Trump Hotel & Tower Dubai, held in Beverly Hills on Saturday night.
It looks as if Asslee, in a drunken rage, took the scissors and attacked his head!
[Image Adriana M. Barraza via WENN.]

The takeover. It's too much and over the top.

2008-08-22T08:09:00.000-07:00

They're taking over everything! The world of entertainment, music, film and now...
BUZZNET.
I will not let this happen!
They've taken everything away from me. I mean, they took out the pleasure of listening to the radio because at any given moment they'd play 'When you look me in the eyes'
Yes, I am talking about the Jonas Brothers.
Diss me as much as you possibly like, I don't give a damn.
Buzznet was reserved for people who were... and I'm not even afraid to say this... actually talented.
I'm may be over the top but it's not enough. I'm frickin' pissed and by golly no one has seen me pissed.
Unworthy of the buzz is an understatement.
They're unworthy of the skinnies!
Okay, okay. I get it, they're pretty boy good looks and girlish voices makes girls around the world pee in their pants and cry their freakin' eyeballs out.
Actually. No, I don't get it.
I don't get a lot of stuff.
That must mean i'm an idiot.
But to actually say the jonas brothers, or, as fans like to call them 'JB' is more popular than the beatles!
Who wants to fight?? yeah. Don't mess with the beatles teenies.
I'm frickin' pissed. Seriously.
Leave Buzznet Alone!

Dear Mr. Writer Dude,

2008-08-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

Published August 10, 2008Tags: music
Paolo Lorenzana’s ‘Odd’-est interview ever. A horror story.

All the things I probably should have said, a now-dead tone — much more a computer-generated call declared dead by squishy Skype signal — would not permit. Some sense of diplomacy had been lost over Internet telephone space and what was supposed to be light discussion with Panic at the Disco’s mastermind guitarist Ryan Ross on the band’s new release “Pretty. Odd.” — and their August 14 concert at the Araneta Coliseum — turned out to be, well, not just odd but pretty damn off-putting.
Despite the tentative 8AM interview slot a concert promoter had set the night before, I felt I was ready for a standard game of whack-the-conversational-ball-around with any of the band members by the time I’d received a 7AM text message confirming my ring-a-rendezvous with Ross and frontman Brendon Urie in about an hour.
With currently radio-active hit “That Green Gentleman (Things Have Changed”) still reverberating in my head from last night’s last-minute stab at research — illegally downloading both 2005’s “A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out” and Panic’s newer album, mulling over each track ‘til midnight apart from gathering requisite Wiki intel and talking points from interviews past — a cup of black coffee and the questions I’d scrawled down in the process were, I deemed, enough to keep me on a casually conversant plane in sync with Ross and Urie’s late afternoon wind-down in Los Angeles.
At a quarter to eight, I presumed I’d be throwing quips around with Ross and, 15 minutes after, maybe siphoning crazy groupie stories from Urie, who was currently on local airwaves humoring two radio jockeys — uneasy chuckles and all — as they seemed to piss on the obvious (‘Is the song ‘Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off’ taken from the movie ‘Closer?’’). However, as soon as I’d gotten Ross on the line, all that was accomplished in the minute that followed was the communicative equivalent of him catapulting spoons of sour cream at me.
He writes the sins, I report the tragedies
“This is Ryan,” he said, indicating a neutral reception after picking-up after two rings.
“Hi Ryan, this is Paolo from The Philippine Star Supreme” I responded, complying with the promoter’s request to distinguish a major daily in the Philippines from a crap-hurling American tabloid.
“You’re breaking up,” he said after quite a pause, the dead air offset by what sounded like music playing in the background. “You’re Carlo from the…from a newspaper in the Philippines? What do you need at all?”
“Um, yeah,” I said, releasing a slight snicker before repeating my greeting with greater volubility, enunciating each word as clearly as I could. And then, “They said I could call this number now? Is it alright if I ask you a few questions about the new album and your upcoming concert over here?”
“Okay, ask what? Go ahead. Let’s see if this is legit or not — okay, go ahead,” he demanded; his vocal countenance turning gruff and the loathing of his own existence and that of the person he was talking to, apparent.
Ryan Ross (above) gave the author a degrading chuckle before cutting this interview short.
“Yeah, I was listening to the new album and it reminded me of catching ‘LOVE,’ the Beatles-inspired Cirque du Soleil production, in Vegas,” I explained, connecting the necessary dots from the album’s Abbey Road recording to the band’s having hailed from Las Vegas. “There’s just this whole Beatles influence to it. Did ‘LOVE’ maybe inspire the album in any way?” And after a tension-smothered spell of silence, miscommunication soon resulted in missed communication.
AUDIBLY ANNOYED RYAN: About the Beatles, you’re talking about? (Grunts) What… what is the question?
NOW-AGGRAVATED INTERVIEWER: The album reminded me of catching “LOVE” in Vegas… I was wondering if… (Ryan cuts me off)
NOW-HELL-RAISING RYAN: No, no — don’t tell me about ‘reminded me’… tell me what, what the question is.
HANDS-UP HELPLESS INTERVIEWER: I just wanted to know… what influenced… the subject matter and the vibe?
NOW-SEEMINGLY DELUSIONAL RYAN: There’s no…new, new album for the Beatles! (Degrading chuckle) Thank you. Goodbye.
Still wired from my second cup of coffee, I could imagine a rabidly coked-up pseudo-artist fuming after having just heaved his iPhone at his Filipina housekeeper. What instantly raged in my head were images of bloodshed at the disco: a wrecking mirror ball unceasingly ramming into Ross; or the guitarist hanging by his ever-present scarf from a strobe light fixture; or, in the name of sweet vindication, a legion of obese hipster girls trampling the band, mistaking them for Fall Out Boy (comparisons — even after FOB’s Pete Wentz pulled PATD into his record label via MySpace message — seem to tick Ross off).
It didn’t matter if Ryan Ross was “sick” as the promoter would later inform me (along with the fact that Urie couldn’t be contacted after his radio interview), or if the schmuck was in the middle of an S&M orgy with a couple of groupies he’d picked up in Poughkeepsie. Whether he was making great strides to become a grade-A a-hole these days just so he could gun down a tween fan base that paid more attention to the bat of his lashes rather than to his music, or reap some “rock star” upstart cred by dropping media finesse like his band had pretentiously dropped the already-pretentious exclamation in their name, the questions I’d prepared bore no answers — and the unspoken pact between interviewer and personality became almost mythical.
In about two years of writing, give or take, a hundred profiles, I felt I’d done my pen-ance, shrugging off every snag or surprise in my interaction with certain “names”, from Kristine Hermosa’s off-cam crassness to Wilma Doesnt’s crotch-pat upon introduction. From being self-taught in excavating the interest factor in anybody, quirks and qualities became visible, especially under that interviewer-interviewee agreement that stipulated both party’s needing each other; the latter to command promotion and the former, to literally conquer the idea of a personality.
But here was Ryan Ross incinerating a huge clause in entertainment publicity, repelling followers who’d want to know everything from what brand of guy-liner he uses to what he meant by “It seems the artists today are not what you think” in the ’05-released single “The Only Difference Between Martyrdom and Suicide is Press Coverage.”
At this point, though, I think I have a pretty good idea of what that meant. And that when you’re a 22 year-old whose alcoholic dad passed a year or two ago, it’s much harder to ride an existential crisis out when you’ve got non-stop touring, TRL fame, and no panic button to press. But I didn’t know Ryan, nor did I know if the new album’s chipper, Beach Boys ‘n’ Beatle-esque departure from the cutesy misery of the Panic’s debut was a means for Ryan, lyricist-composer and silent captain, to deal; or if the guy just thinks all members of the third-world press are complete morons. Who knew? And who can ever truly know “somebody” when the world of local print is rife with half-assed features born from record company-monitored phone calls and the 15 fruitless minutes a writer gets to talk to a diva on her makeup chair? Sure, I wanted Ryan to glean a sense of “otherness,” but what emerged from my non-interview was a rare sense of realness, especially when shooting the s*it with celebrities had already become a tedious, bull-coated routine to me.
If an interview brought me, writer, and, sequentially, you, reader, closer to a personality, then Ryan Ross was able to grab us by our throats and exhibit that closeness over the phone and in less than a minute. And as soon as he put that poor iPhone down, I may have actually become a fan in the process.

My point of view. Oh dude, get ready to be BUSTED!!!

A. Ryan Was SICK you said it yourself

B. The signal was breaking= he could barely understand you. BTW, iphones make great IM-ing gadgets but not telephones.

C. If you had done your research earlier you would've found out that that question has been asked more than 100 times in the past six months!

D. He didn't know if it was LEGIT!

Okay, okay. So that still isn't an excuse, fine. But please, if you're going to PUBLISH an article that BASHES an international artist coming for a concert soon that's one of the STUPIDEST things to do!

Oh an btw my writer dude... you should've gone to proper school. You're sentences are POORLY constructed! I'm not talking as an expert here but my mom is. The first thing she told me was that your sentences are too complicated and messy. Show this to a real professional and you'll see what I'm talking about.

And as a last thought.

I have met the band, they were sweet and kind and were very thankful. You could still tell that Ryan was a bit under the weather at the Meet and Greet in both the POdium and at araneta but he still tried his best.

Don't bash just because you hate. If you truly are a professional you'll know not to over-react and see things in a different perspective.

I'm talking as both a fan and a judge... in a way. I tried to see things in his perspective as well as yours.

My mom and I took time to study this and found that you over-reacted A LOT.

MnG WIth PATD at the podium, backstage MnG and the cocnert

2008-08-15T18:53:00.000-07:00

My day started with me reading this e-mail I got from Ms. Trisha Ilarde of ETC/Solar Sports. I wrote in a month or two back asking if 'Chill Spot' a TV show on ETC could interview Panic At The Disco when they came over. I received an email a week or two back from the show's host, Karen Pamintuan telling me she'd try her best to make them (the management) do it because she's a huge fan as well. Anyway, here's the e-mail:
Hi Gaby!

You wrote to us asking if we can cover Panic At The Disco's concert, and your wish is granted :) We are covering the concert and interviewing the band as well. I hope this makes you happy :)

Are you a fan of the band? Are you watching the concert? If you are, I would be glad to grant you 2 slots for a short meet & greet with the band. Please let me know. You can call or text me through my cellphone numbers stated below.

Thanks for supporting ETC! :)

Safe to say, that got my day rolling.

Anyway, I still went to the meet and greet of the band in podium (a mall near the hotel they stayed in) even if my mom told me it would be a total waste of time (Since I was to meet them the next day before the concert) but I still begged and in the end, we ended up going there.

My frien, Kat (Potatokat) and I kept in touch and found out that the slots for the 300 people who got their autographs signed were almost complete so my mom and I rushed into the mall. Once we reached the elevator, the one next to us wouldn't let anyone use it because some 'artistas' (artists) were going to be using it. I begged if I could take over elevator operator's job for the night and she just laughed. Anyway, we sped up to the table where you buy the CD and bought one of the last one's with the blue tag on. I was walking to the end of the line when I spotted Issa! (a friend of mine I met at the click five presscon) She was with a few friends of hers and a few boardies as well so I stuck with her for the rest of the wait. the line was Purtty long but we decided to stay at the end so we could have extra (like 5 seconds more extra) time with the band.
After a long while of waiting (yeah, like 10 minutes) Issa and I decided to go to the bathroom (actually, it was an excuse we had so we could get near the area where the band would pass) but we ended up going to the bathroom. For some reason, I walked out with my stuff and guess who happens to pass in front of me??
JON, RYAN and SPENCER!!!
Brendon was way ahead but when we screamed 'hi' to them, he waved. Issa and I yelled 'Ryan we love you!!' and he stopped and turned around and gave us one of his killer kid smiles then waved before he trailed behind Spencer and walked out. We ran out the other end and screamed at the top of our lungs that WE saw the band in front of us! People who didn't even know us ran and asked how it was possible. Our answer: "Idiotic guards who believe that we, huge patd fans, actually planned on using the bathroom when we knew very well that the band would be passing there"
Anyway, everyone crowded in the area just to see them. We were fortunate enough to have get quite close and yell to Spencer i-dunno-how-many-times "Spencer, you rock! we Love you!" and I yelled "Spencer!! I loooovvveeee you!!!" He kept on smiling and laughing at us and waving too. Everytime we called to take his picture he'd stop and smile at us then wave good bye.
Ooh,t he good part!
Zac was there (of course) and we so wanted to be nutty so we'd call him then we'd yell "we love you!" and then he'd give us a weird look then laugh. This happened five times and he always did the same thing!
When it was our turn (We were the last) Zac was quite pissed 'cause quite a lot of kids were trying to but in so he got mad at the guard but we begged him to let us. So we did.
Me: Brendon! I friggin' love you're tatoos! They're beautiful! (I got to touch it!! O.O)
Brendon: Thank you! (big smiles)
Me: Hey Ryan
Ryan: Hey! (some people said he was sick)
Me: Jon!!
Jon: Cool scarf!
Me: Thanks! (He holds out his hand and shakes my hand)
Spencer: Hey! It's you!!
Me: Yeah! It Is!
Spencer: Haha! (HIgh fives)

After, we... stole a poster. Haha, I won't get into details but let's just say, a friend and I saw 2 posters in a glass case and we wanted it. Kat and Nicole (nicole0818) helped me and Issa get out own but I couldn't help issa because my mom and I spent too much time on 'getting' the poster that we were late for our next appointment, and when I say late, i mean an hour! and aside from that, people were already looking for the poster. We took a detour around the mall and sped to the parking lot (which was a bit flooded because of the heavy raining earlier) and met up with some people.

The next day was the concert (half of the day was spent at school) but anyway...
We rushed to araneta because I needed to meet Ms. Trisha before 7 and Mon(Valiant17) as well (i found out she got invites too) so we waited for a bit and sat at the waiting room for a while while Zac breefed us on what not to do.
Zac: There are four of them there so i don't wanna see 15 people crowding into one area to next to Brendon
Zac: Yes, you can give gifts but they can only appreciate it. After we gotta throw it away. Now, the reason for this is if we kept everything the fans gave us, we wouldn't have space on tour, we'd probably have a room this big (moves his hands in the air to signify the largeness of the room we were in)
Me:Zac... I heart you!
Zac: (he did the same thing he did yesterday when we said the same thing) Okay, now, we'll call everyone by the group and we'll start.

The line was Jon, Spencer, Brendon and Ryan or something like that. Anyway, Brendon complimented me on the same scarf and I gave Ryan a bracelet ('cause yesterday Issa asked for a bracelet and he said they were special to him) and I gave zac my card. Brendon put his arm around me :D
I'll be getting pics soon!!!

At the concert, I met up with Krystel, a friend of my cousin and ate some pizza while Crowned King came on and performed as the front act.
The concert was amazing, as I thought it'd be!
Highlights:
they sang "I never said I'd leave MANILA I never said I'd leave THE PHILIPPINES"
they had this huge screen that had brendon and ryan's shadows in the background doing crazy things. At the end, the two shadows waved and bowed and threw their shadow pics to the crowd.
Ryan made everyone greet this girl who'd birthday it was yesterday
He also wore hannah montana 3rd glasses and threw them to the crowd (issas caught it)
I got my CD back! (issa and i got each other's cd by mistake)

Anyway, that's it so far. I'll update on the list of songs!
Tah-tah!

Panic at the disco meet and greet today

2008-08-12T19:27:00.000-07:00

I'm doing a quick update before my mom and I treck out and stuff before the patd meet and greet at 6. Hopefully, if I take charge we'll get there by 4 to ensure good seats and whatnot *big smiles* Ryan, oh George Ryan... I'm coming!! XD
Anyway, I made a letter for 'em and i'm giving them BOHO, my little stuffed puppy-dog toy. Hopefully Ryan gets to keep it 'cause he has HOBO and now... BOHO :))
My mom's currently still taking a bath (it's been an hour btw) so I've got some time to waste :))

BTW, BLG will be here on September 6 in glorietta at 5pm, Sept. 3 in ayala town center at 6pm and september 5 in trinoma at 7pm
Thunder..live!!
anyway... g2g :D

Knowing the Walking Talking Commercial

2008-08-10T02:50:00.002-07:00

How many people do you know who threaten you with black mail but actually just gives you a nuggie? Or better yet, someone who'll never let you forget that you happened to think the old-school dryer was a soap dispenser? What about someone who never let you forget that when you were 7 and 9 you decided that you wanted to cut your hair and it happened to turn out like alfalfa?

that's the walking talking commercial alright!

She's my partner-in-crime, even if I never let her forget the crazy things she used to do as a kid (and did this afternoon) and constatly baby her and talk to her as if I was way older than 10 months older than her.

We've been best friends (and cousins) for as long as we can remember. There were times we hated each other's guts and times we couldn't talk to anyone except for the other.

I remember a few Saturdays back we had our confirmation seminar. The topic was about the Holy Spirit and I happened to hear the woman say that the third image of the Holy Spirit was a duck.

"Hey Alie, I didn't know the thrid image of the Holy Spirit is a duck" I laughed checking my notes as we drank our coffee in select

"A duck? where'd you hear that?" She asked as she took my notebook from me

"The woman said it at the seminar... see!" I said as I pointed to it

"You idiot! You're not only idiotic, you're deaf! That's a DOVE!" She laughed.

She never let me forget that time.

Then there's that secret.... *sigh* don't you worry, one day when I've got nothing better to do, I shall share it with other people so you can laugh your arses off at it as well, but for now, it's just our secret... and a few other 'chosen ones''

Anyway, this is dedicated to you dear tormented one.

Btw, she really is a WALKING TALKING COMMERCIAL.

this afternoon, she made a commercial about jolly crunchy twirls, chuppachups, head and shoulders and a few other products without even realizing it!

"Head and shoulders makes my hair so smooth and it smells awesome not like dumb old clear! bleh!"

"I love chuppa chups, it's one of the best lollipops I've ever tasted!"

see what I mean!? Anyway, NATALIE ANN UNSON this is dedicated to you :D

Yes Janella, this is about you :D

2008-08-09T06:10:00.000-07:00

Haha!
There I was, minding my own business looking for whatever it was Janella wanted me to see on that site and
BAM!
GABY *INSERT MY LAST NAME HERE* I KNOW YOUR LURKING AROUND HERE
:))
I was like.. wait, what?
That was funny... you should've seen me double take!

XD
just for laughs

Buzznet

2008-07-30T07:49:00.001-07:00

Check out my Buzznet account!
if you wish to make a buzznet, I'd be glad to help :D
Check mine out before you decide! kk?
http://emogirl100.buzznet.com/user/main/
Buzznet is a website I spend 99% of my time online, I doubt I'd spend that much time on something sucky!
Please check it out!

Homophobia is SO GAY.

2008-07-30T03:48:00.000-07:00

Quoted from the infamouse red shirt of Frank Iero.

At around 3 'o clock we were gathered at the chapel for a mass for Sr. Sto. Nino who's statue arrived at our school earlier today. The celebrator was a bit late so my friend and I decided to talk about the newest songs on MTV. I started to sing the chorus of 'I kissed a girl' by Katy Parry. He looked at me in a disgusted way and said 'Are you a Lesbo?' I bushed my eyebrows and said 'What the heck made you think that?' He pouted and said 'You're singing that lesbian song'. I asked him what was so lesbian about it when, in the song, she shows no interest for the girl she kissed and says something about 'I hope my boy friend won't find out'. I asked why he thought that and he replied 'They piss me off. Seeing gay people do that and stuff' With that, I agreed but when he said 'I don't like gay people, I really don't' it got me a bit irritated. I told him there was nothing wrong about being gay, people aren't born and are like 'when I grow up, I don't wanna be a guy/girl I wanna be *insert wanted sex here*' He explained himself but it made everything seem worse so i just told him to stop it.
I then realized that, that was the reason he yelled 'Hoy Bakla! Shut up!' when our two gay friends were laughing and joking a few minutes after break time. He shut the whole class up and got into a fight with two people who defended our friends.

I used to think he was so cool and stuff but, after today, I realized I don't like him as much. I can't stand people who disrespect other because of reasons not needed to be cited. And I can't stand people who judge and most of all, I LOATHE homophobics.

I survived the black parade.

2008-07-27T04:01:00.000-07:00

The feeling was indescribable.
I felt a wholeness yet emptiness.
Describing it would make my mind explode.
When Gerard came out on that stretcher, the passed 2 years of my life came flashing before me life some character in a movie.
I couldn't help but cry, quite a few times. My mum and Joey stared at me blankly like I was some weirdo kid crying over a silly thing.
I've blogged about this DVD so much, people who've read my posts must think I'm an obsessed physco kid who talks gibberish about things unimportant to this world.
But it's important to me. That's all I care.
It's worth much more than it's selling price so don't complain.
2 concerts in one, baby, worth much much more than it's selling price.

Just to sum things up, it was amazing, something I'd watch more than a million times and something I'd show my grandkids someday.

I survived the black parade. I wish it took longer before it died, but... hopefully, a new chapter will open and the story will continue :D

For now...
I shall wait and see.
btw: spoiler: he didn't use the boa!= NJ show at maxwell's you'll see!

The Happiness bug bit me today.

2008-07-25T03:00:00.001-07:00

In my life, It's quite seldom I'm happy for no reason and nothing can ruin my day.
That's the case for this day.
Maybe, to start it off, I had extra lots of hot cocoa this morning... the one with the small marshmallows that melt before you even get to sip them. Swissmiss baby.

Janella asked me the other day what was Buzznet and a few stuff about.
I wanted to take the time to introduce the site to everyone who doesn't have it yet.
I spend 80 percent of my internet time on buzznet so, it's gotta be worth it.
Buzznet is where I go to look for the latest news about my favorite bands. I always take time to check out the awesome people I've met there and constantly talk to. I post dozens of pictures of bands I wanna promote and bands that rule my world, I also post my fan fictions there so if your planning to read them, that's the only place to go and look for them.

I also consider buzznet my second home. It's the only place, aside from my blog, that I can be 100% myself, no strings attached.

Anyway, I've joined the buzznet buzzmob to show my appreciation for Buzznet so i'm gonna use my site to promote as well :D
Check this out:

click :D on :D it :D
That's it for me for now, expect a post later in the evening :D

The Black Parade is OFFICIALLY Dead

2008-07-24T03:52:00.000-07:00

I wanna cry and roll on the floor and ball my eyes out.
It's like an ending to half of my life!
My eyes are teary, red and swollen.
I can't believe it. It's actually official.
It's like turning a page of my life that I haven't even finished reading.
The Black Parade was the first CD of MCR I actually bought. It was a month before they released it. I fell madly in love with the patient and in some ways, related to him.
The band and the metaphor made me love everything about MCR and the guys behind it. They made me love myself more and they made me realize that, even if I'm so screwed up, there are 5 guys in a band just as screwed up as I was.
I listened to their music when I wanted to... end what I used to think was 'a tragedy not worth living' a few times (I'm not being emo. I'm stating the truth. DOn't judge me.)
They made me be against homophobics and people who didn't appreciate themselves enough to continue living, they made me believe in myself more than I ever did. They made me want to be happy again, they made me someone who was against labels and labeling and most of all, they made me be myself... whatever the screwed up consequences were.

I balled my eyes out on the floor when I found out they were finishing the black parade. My mom told me that ending the black parade meant ending a period and Gerard and everyone elses lives when they were sad and needed an escape. Now, they're all happily married, or, most of them are, a few of them are in love and engaged. They're carrier is skyhigh and they're with people they love. Why do they need a reason to be sad?

It then hit me. Closing TBP meant closing a point in their lives where they, at some point, felt like the patient as well.

I know that, in a year or two, maybe in a few months, they'll be opening a new chapter in their lives as well as in mine. I can wait that long.

Until then, I have their music, a memory and I'll carry on.

The Black Parade is Dead Is OFFICIALLY OUT TODAY!!!!

2008-07-24T03:01:00.000-07:00

Happiness. My heart went boom when I read Ms. Kristine's reply on my facebook page.
I just finished text messaging my mum (yes, I do have an english accent when I call her that's why it's spelled with a U not an O) about everything that came with it: 2 free tickets to their LAST concert as TPB in Mexico
(this is the video on the DVD, I believe, but it's going to be released in a movie house in Robinsons [Event Info Host: Warner Music Philippines, Robinson's Movieworld, NU 107, MYX and No Fear Type: Music/Arts - Concert Time and Place Date: Friday, August 1, 2008 Time: 7:30pm - 9:30pm Location: Robinsons Movieworld Street: Robinsons Galleria, Ortigas Center City/Town: Pasig, Philippines ])
and a free t-shirt! Okay, okay, so, I do have two MCR shirts already but c'mon!
Mom just told me she's gonna get it. I just received the text... YAY!! I hope she does! I'll have to pay her back but still!!!
Yay!
When I found out that they were officially ending the reign of TBP I cried. It was the first ever CD I bought of theirs. Gerard will still be known to me as 'The patient' and the parade still lives on in my heart. The music makes me sing and laugh and cry.
For me, they'll carry on.

Happy International MCR Day!

2008-07-23T06:43:00.000-07:00

Truth be told, I completely forgot that it was today, not for the reason that it isn't that important (to some people) but because I thought it was in August. Anyway, Mon reminded me at around... 7 this morning so I greeted everyone.
Int'l MCR day was made by the fans to celebrate MCR. I have no clue if it is official but I do know that it is celebrated.
Mon said they had pasta at her place and Trish celebrated (in spirit) with me and Joey. I made ala mode for everyone at home and Joey and I shared a bowl of mango icecream (which he ate half off!)
I played MCR the whole day and wanted to cry when I realized that their concert is finished and that they're coming back in 4 years (as they said)
Mum seemed quite enthusiastic about it as well :D
I enjoyed today, I enjoy anything related to MCR actually, like I'm celebrating for myself. Heck, I plan Gee's birthday before I plan my own!
I guess the reason these 'holidays' for MCR are so important to me is because... They're my heroes. Yes, I may sound like each and every MCR fan out there but it's true.
Those guys, without them, I'd be like everyone else... unhappy with themselves. Because of them, i love myself. I accept each and every part of me and even if I'm screwed up and feel alone, I remember that there are 5 guys out there who are as screwed up (or was as screwed up) as me.
If you haven't seem these guys before or heard a song, you're missing out on life itself.
suggestions:
1. The ghost of you
2. Welcome to the black parade
3. Disenchanted
4. I'm not okay
5. Cancer
6. Vampires will never hurt you
7. Demolition lovers
8. The desert song
9. Kill all your friends
10. Heaven help us

Keep the faith!
Gaby

I'm Not Gonna Waste These Words About A Boy

2008-07-19T08:07:00.000-07:00

So I'm not. XD
My typing is limited to keys my fingers press each second and I'm not wasting that on a boy as worthless as the letters I erase using the 'backspace' key.
HATE is a big word... it's something I don't use often. Sure, I may dislike ampalaya and dislike other things but when I hate something... I HATE something.
In other words, what I used to think is slowly turning into utter dislike of his existance.
HATE.
He's an
Ass
The.
End.
Crappy acronym but... it's friggin' true!
:P
Anyway, as I've said earlier, i'm not gonna waste these words about a boy.
(btw, it's "i'm not gonna waste these words about a girl" from 'about a girl' off of 'Fast Times At Barrington High' by The Academy Is...)
PEACE!

Buzznet Lovin'

2008-07-10T06:37:00.000-07:00

For 3 years, I've used emogirl100 as a username in some random site that's changed me life.

It's been 3 years since I first entered the site, how time flies.

In those 3 years, I've met amazing people who've made me happy each time I log in.

My friends are always worried about me, specially when I'm at my lowest of lows.

They always comment on my fan fics and tell me how great it is even if I myself think it's crap.

They laugh at my stupid captions and tell me how much I rock.

They make me LMAO when I'm sad.

They're frickin' talented!

They love and respect bands and are fans because of the MUSIC not the looks

They're my buzznet friends. Life would be dull without them.

Mon(Valiant17): Thank you for making me laugh and taking time to be totally random with my on YM and on BUzzy. DON'T change, stay rockin' and keep on lovin'. Thanks for always being there for me :D

Kat(Potatokat): Thanks for being like my big sister and being a total rockstar. Keep those creative juices flowing! I'll be yar numbah one fan :D

Cha(Diehardrocker):Cha! thank you for sticking with me even though I am my nutty, crazy, out of balance self.

Adam(Commemoi): One of the few guy friends I have who actually take time to talk to me and ask me what's ^ :D Love Paris man, you're lucky!

Yumi(Misaxmisa): My best friend in the whole entire world! You knew who I was from the very start. You and Light might not have worked out but you still stayed my friend. You stuck with me through my worst times and you helped me keep the faith! thank you! I miss you!

Nicole(Nicole0818): My very random and totally rockin, could-be-my-big sis :D thanks for everything!

Kyuu(kyuketsuki): My very first friend. The girl who's always checkin' to see how I am and making me feel good about myself.

Fred(fredlovessp): Thanks for rockin' SP with me and still lovin' them. Thank you for all the updates and being a total sweetheart :D

And those are the very few who totally rock my buzzing socks.

Be yourselves.. always. You guys are amazing! You make me smile about myself each time I start hatin'.

Stay in touch!

so kiss my goodbye,

Dancing In The Moonlight

2008-07-09T04:35:00.000-07:00

I just feel like kicking off my red low-cut converse and running barefoot on damp grass and just... DANCE
All of a sudden, my spirit seems free of the awkward pulling-feeling I've had for such a long time.
The feeling of an open book with a billion more pages waiting to be filled with adventures and exclamation points of happiness.
That's the only way I can think of explaining it.
I feel more confident and I laugh more.
I miss my laugh, a lot.
Then, I realized, I missed being alone... like, today, in P.E., I just drew and reviewed by myself for a bit until I was joined by Henrich.
I love the sound of silence, once in a very blue moon, I just want silence.
If you know me, you're probably laughing your big fat arse off.
And another thing...
I'm gonna be meeting gothboy soon... (codename). I used to think, when I'd meet him, I'd dress my usual black attire but.. now, now all I want are bright, happy colors.
I think it was when I heard 'unwritten' by Natasha Beddingfield on Sunday. I wanted to cry because of how I felt, like, a big load of my chest was removed. I have no clue why.
I got really emotional and wanted to cry and laugh at the same time!
Not like me, at all.

I guess, what I'm trying to say is: "Things have changed for me and that's okay"
I'm still me, but crazier and happier. hopefully, it'll stay this way :D

fighting with a cub won't get you anywhere.

2008-07-02T00:51:00.000-07:00

my conversation with henrich.
dude, special mention!
btw, I copy pasted meaning his exclamation points weren't exaggerated by me

Henrich Valenzuela: would you stop that?
gaby: stop what?
Henrich Valenzuela: you're acting like a little girl
gaby: i'm not acting like anything.
gaby: all i said was nevermind
gaby: i'm not doing anything
gaby: don't you know what nevermind is?
gaby: it doesn't mean 'no you stupid blah blah blah
gaby: it means forget about it and a possible thanks
Henrich Valenzuela: but you sounded like it
gaby: how can i sound like it
gaby: i typed it
gaby: typing doesn't sound like anything.
gaby: does the period make it sound any different?
Henrich Valenzuela: ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!gaby: uh dude, you're the one who sounds like a kid
Henrich Valenzuela: Stop it!!!!!!!!!!!! *insert smiley that crosses it's arms here)

seee!!!!!
big wuss!!
yeah dude, i am talking about you.

The purple monkeys dancing under the moonlight in search of freedom.

2008-07-02T00:18:00.000-07:00

First of all... YAY! buzznet lives on for Mon!!
congratumalations!! Ooh and no help from Mark whatsoever!!

Crap institution has been... fine lately. The secret's been digging deeper and deeper into my soul as each day passes. Forgive and forget. Yeah right. I forgave but it's too hard to forget. Everytime I see him I snap and remember everything about it! But when I don't see him... Urgh! *insert teardrops on my guitar by taylor swift here*
*tear*
I've been singing it the whole day. Sure beats the hell outta 'Always be my baby' by both D.C. and M.C.!
it officially makes me wanna hurl when I hear it.
Sure, I loved it after the first 500 times they played/sang it in school but passed that is just way way overboard!
Like how they overdid the addiction to 'when you look me in the eyes' It was an okay song but hearing it over and over and over again makes my head spin in random directions!
Anyway, if everyone's wondering why I'm blogging in the middle of this weird weather week, it's because school was ended earlier today because of something or another with the teachers.
Blah.
So i'm here... supposed to be reviewing for shizznit and more.
If you still haven't understood fully the title, good, you don't need to.
METAPHORS baby.
it's a metaphor to something I and only I know.
Sorry to keep you dangling by a thread but it's sorta a secret.
Secrects... psh!
I was looking through my journal the other day and relized how much I kicked it to the curb when I got a blog. Poor morbie.
I'll be posting a few entries from it just for the heck of it.
Anyway, to end this random nonsense...
Peace, love and grooviness...
as Joey Zehr would say and meow
as Joey the cat would say
and TTFN as T-I-double G-ER

In the middle of insomnia...

2008-06-28T12:34:00.000-07:00

I had a latte earlier.

Can't sleep.

I dunno why since Latte is mostly milk.

Eyes can't close.

Fingers hurt from randomly typing nonsense on MS word.

Still haven't finished research for BiologyII and ComputerII.

Must.Go.To.Bed.

or suffer the consequences of huge eyebags!!!

GAH!!!

Must... sleep... soon...!!

I dunno what the heck I'm saying.

*yawn

I did actually yawn.

*sigh

So yeah... stuff and stuff and uh...

I think It's time I tuck myself in bed and just try my best to fall asleep

Sweet Dreams!

xoxo

T-I-double G-ER

that spells... tigger but...

M-E

spells Me

I need to sleep now.!

PEACE!!!!!!!!!

Still So Young And Desperate For Attention

2008-06-27T03:48:00.000-07:00

Panic At The Disco baby!

So I've got nothing better to do with my pathetic life...

that's why, i'm here to bore you about how my week went!

Isn't that splendid?

Monday

Started out like any other day. For those of you who haven't noticed... I go to crap inc. translation? school. Funny huh?

I discovered this song that melts hearts and butter faster than you can say 'Gah Martin Johnson Gah'

Could butter melt any faster? What with the lyrics 'your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. You're unlike any other. You'll always be my thunder' and a voice as sweet as Martin's... I think butter can melt way faster!!

Butter... haha!! butter. Why the sudden fasination? don't ask. I dunno.

Tuesday

I may be a self-proclaimed idiot but I don't let people call me that. However, I'm opening the floor for idiot-calling for 5 seconds. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Closed. Anyway, I just saw the video of 'Snakes on a plane' by cobra starship feat. members of GCH, TAI and THS :D Youtube's been acting up so I can't blame myself. I must be the only person who hasn't seen it until tuesday

-mental note:-

make a list of people I think have totally amazing voices :D

What's the deal with smileys anyway? haha.

Wednesday

We had to bring hoola-hoops to school for some exercise. Whtev!

I soo wanna be the rebelius rabbit and use 'Hoolahoop' by Alvin and the chipmunks as the background music instead of the barf-worthy but sometimes-okay song 'Low' by flo ridder (sp?)

*sigh *sigh *sigh

Thursday

I spent the whole week worrying about whether or not I'd get into varsity this year when turns out... All I needed to do was show up for tryouts and... I was part of the team. WOW.

Good thing I learned from my mistakes last year 'cause this time, I stretched the night before try-outs and a few hours before it started. Good thing 'cause last time, i couldn't sit down without shrieking in pain.

Friday

Today :D

If you've heard that song 'Hate that I love You' by Rihanna and Ne-yo... that mostly explains everything. Except maybe the guy doesn't know, doesn't care and doesn't care to care.

OWW!!

I just realized that I've found a 'type' in guys...:

Lanky

Long-ish brown hair

A sweet smile

An amazing voice

No, I am not describing Kyle Patrick of William Beckett.

Of course, that's not the only thing... I'm not a girl who runs after a guy. And I'm especially not the girl who goes 'OMG He'S Sooo Effin' HaWT!! BaBeh!!'

Eww. disgustamundo-mucho??

No, i'm not trying to speak Spanish thank-you-very-much!

Thats my stupid-teen-made-up-slang.

Live it. Love it. Learn to Live with it.

anyway, life is probably gonna be the same for me.

So it goes...

probably just a bit of spice but not that much. So... yeah, boredom will go on until i-don't-know-how-long

until then...

listen to thunder and weep!!

xoxo and don't stop the rockin'!

This May Call For A Proper Introduction... Oh Well...

2008-06-22T06:41:00.000-07:00

Don't you see...
I've been spending way to long checking my tongue in the mirror, and bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer...
If you haven't already guessed, I wanted something... but when I got it... I realized, it wasn't what I wanted in the first place.
Confussed much?
Good.
Confussion is the key in understanding my quick, 13 year-old brain.
I thought I wanted something but then... then I got it... I got him and now... Now I realized that He wasn't what I wanted in the first place.
Is that possible?
Oh well, it is, it isn't... I shan't give a damn... now should I?
Anyway, back to the reality of things... What is reality anyway?
the dream I live in half the time I'm awake or what's around me... I have no clue at times...
Times like this, I find speaking... typing, easier when quoting random lyrics that may or may not have anything to do with whatever I'm thinking about.
For example.. "Your voice, was the soundtrack of my summer. Do you know you're like any other? You'll always be my thunder..."
If I had YM now, i'd use the drooling smiley... yeah.
Anyway, i've drifted way, way off the imaginary topic here.
Bah... i don't really care.
If you talk to me passed 9:30... you're sure to get ranting and blurbs and babling.
that's what my mom says.
Anyway... could I undo everything?
anyone go that remote?
Adam Sandler... where are you when I need you?

Jungle Fever

2008-06-22T03:33:00.000-07:00

My mind works like a machine lacking oil. It's usually creaking and making weird sounds when I over-think. I usually blurt out random nothingness in dead silence.

Got Oil?

I needed a place to let lose, be free and hop like a nutty weird kid who happens to have a rabbit as my name. thank-you-very-much
I also needed a place to rant about nothing in particular and speak as if this empty space was a person who understood anything and everything I'll randomly blurt out.

About my name... I love Panic At The Disco. I am madder than a rabbit but I rant like want. Hence the name.

Introductions are needed but I don't plan to.

Just call me Gaby... yeah, I gave everything away, didn't I?

Besides, as I may have said before, it'll be easier for me to rule the world of mental nuttiness and turn all those against me into laughing hyenas!

No, I was not raced in a jungle (if your wondering why I speak so much of the jungle)

I love metaphors.

as for the the world... wait for me and see.

my fingers can't get enough of the keyboard and I think to much

that just spells trouble with a capital T-I-double G-ER

Peace!